What It Means to Have an Emotional Connection

A couple with a strong emotional connection, in a field together talking and cuddling.

When you have an emotional connection with someone, it means you’re attracted to more than the way they look on the outside. You might not even be attracted to them physically, it just depends. It means you value their mind and spirit, and can have deep and meaningful conversations with them. You feel like they understand you in a way that not many people do.

When you have a physical and emotional connection with someone, that’s when a powerful romantic relationship can form. Without either of these components, a relationship is very unlikely to last.

To a certain extent, an emotional connection can be built and strengthened over time if both partners are willing to work on it. The way we experience this connection varies in us all, but there are a few signs that signal a true emotional connection.

You listen to each other with your souls.
You know you’re emotionally connected to someone when you find yourself not just listening with your ears or thinking with your mind, but listening with your soul.

You might find you often think about similar things at the same time, or even go to text or call each other at the same time.

This is because you have a deep connection that extends to a soul level. It can’t be explained in words—it just is.

Your partner gives your hobbies and interests a go.
You might have completely different interests—maybe they love football, while you love yoga. But the sign of an emotional connection is when they’re willing to give your hobbies a go, and take an interest in the things you’re passionate about. They want to have shared experiences with you, because your relationship and presence is fulfilling.

You can talk easily for hours.
And it feels like minutes have passed. You stay up late chatting about anything and everything. The conversation just seems to flow so effortlessly back and forth between you. When speaking is easy and enjoyable like this, it means you’ve got emotional chemistry. 

On the other hand, if you struggle to make small talk with someone, and run out of things to say pretty quickly; you’re probably missing that connection.

You’re totally comfortable around each other.
If you feel comfortable enough with someone, and safe enough to express your most inner thoughts and feelings without fear of being judged, then you’re connected on an emotional level.

If you’re put at ease and reassured when you’re with this person, that will put you in the same energy frequency and help you to vibe off each other.

You share a similar sense of humor.
As people, we tend to connect with each other through laughter, or shared positive experiences. So, if you find yourself laughing at or even telling similar jokes or stories, that’s a sign of a strong connection. And that will vary from person to person—from wit, sarcasm, to goofiness.

You fully trust each other.
It takes time to build genuine trust between two people. But once you know you can count on them to always be there for you and have your back, that’s when a connection deepens.

If you know you can share anything with this person without them telling anyone, or you know they’ll be there for you anytime you’re in need, then you’ve got an emotional bond that’s very strong.

Being you is enough.
Many of us feel pressure to change who we really are or act a certain way in the presence of others. The truth is, you’re perfect as you are right now.

But when you feel no need to be a “better” version of yourself, and you’re able to unapologetically be yourself with someone, it’s because you’ve bonded. 

You’re both all in.
Emotional connections require time and attention to stay healthy and continue to thrive. That’s why you both have to be all in, and devoted to continually strengthening your relationship. (And, of course, it’s totally worth it.)

Your relationship continues to strengthen and deepen every day.
When you can actually feel your connection deepening and growing over time, that’s when you know you’ve got a real emotional bond. You might notice this in the little moments like when they’re with you, and they somehow make all your worries seem like nothing at all; or when you look back on when you first met and see just how far you’ve both come.

Emotional chemistry doesn’t come easy, but it’s also not something you need to search hard for. If it’s there, you’ll feel it.

Shani Jay

Bestselling Author and Empowerment Coach

Shani is a bestselling author, empowerment coach for women, and self-love advocate. She is the author of Bloom, The Babe Bible, Glow Getter, and Light Up Your Life; and her writing has been featured on many internationally recognized platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, and Teen Vogue.

​In 2016 Shani founded The Glow Getter Tribe – a self-love & kindness movement which helps young girls & women worldwide feel happy, confident and beautiful starting from the inside, out.

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