Even though we’re all capable of experiencing love, it seems like the road from “I’m infatuated with you” to “I want to spend the rest of my life with you” varies from person to person. And as you may expect, it’s a little different between men and women. While women love feeling appreciated, secure, and desirable in their relationship, there are other signs for men that signify that they’ve got serious chemistry with someone.
If you’re a guy who wants to know if this is real, or a significant other who wants to know if this guy is truly into you, here are six signs you’ll want to look out for.
He’ll be a lot less cautious with throwing out the “L” bomb.
This may be hard to believe, especially based on everything you’ve ever learned from romantic comedies, but science has proven that men fall in love faster than women and are more prone to let them know. This is because women are a lot more cautious about having their heart broken. According to a study by Marissa A. Harrison and Jennifer C. Shortall, most people think women fall harder and faster, but they’re actually not, in their words, “fools for love” the way society portrays them. So if you’re a woman who thinks he’s just playing you when he releases his feelings early on, that might not actually be the case. He’s probably quite sincere.
He starts spending more time with you, and less time out.
He may use an excuse like, “I’m just tired and want a night in,” but the truth is that he’s completely content just being in the same room with you—even if it’s doing nothing. He doesn’t need to go outside for happiness or entertainment, and that means he’s really falling for you. This is a really big sign, since it means he’ll risk having fear of missing out for an evening that his friends may think is a little boring. You’ve changed his entire perspective of a fun night.
While he seemed to be about looks at first, he’ll suddenly be a lot more appreciative of the traits you have in common.
Guys notice looks—that should be no secret. And even in a poll by Women’s Health, a women’s face was the very first thing that attracted most men. But even though he may have been clued into you based on appearance, he’ll start noticing and appreciating all of your other qualities later on. He’ll stop caring whether or not you dress up for him, and won’t mind dates at home, watching Netflix and snarking on the latest streaming show. It’s around this time he’ll realize that you’re more than just a face — you’re someone he’s falling in love with.
Dates go from being dinners out, to life experiences.
When you do something that’s major—say, a long-distance road trip, or a weekend skydiving—you don’t want to tarnish those memories with someone who isn’t the one. So if a guy starts suggesting dates that the two of you will both remember for the rest of your lives, it’s proof that he thinks you’ll both last quite some time. Even if he has yet to say, “I love you,” it shows that he sees you as a longterm relationship. Why visit a country overseas with someone who’s merely a fling? Won’t you want to go with someone you’ll imagine reflecting on the trip with years later?
They constantly take note of your praise.
Guys like compliments. Doesn’t everyone? They shouldn’t be complimented for everyday tasks like taking the garbage out, but if they’re with someone who makes a big deal out of that amazing work promotion, they’ll notice it and feel even more connected. So if you’re the type of person who notices that your guy is working harder than normal, sincerely praising him will differentiate you from other partners in the past. And if it boosts his ego a little bit, he’s more likely to feel the love.
But honestly, many men often know right off the bat.
Since they fall faster, men often know from day one if they’re with somebody they want to spend the rest of their lives with. So, even though most instances of love at first site end up being more like infatuation for women, men may have better luck at proving it’s true. Back in 2014, Cosmopolitan interviewed three men about when they knew it was love, and most of them stated that it didn’t take long at all. “From the first time we hung out, our relationship always felt perfect and progressed so naturally that there was never one specific time when I thought, I think I love this girl,” one of them said. “I think it would be more accurate for me to say there was never a time that I didn’t love her,” another stated. So if you’re a guy who’s wondering whether or not you’re falling in love, just know most guys aren’t thinking that hard about it. When you know, you know.
In short, men aren’t shy when it comes to real love. It’s always a little nerve-wracking to talk about feelings with someone new, but in general, guys tend to just go for it. It’s not as common for them to keep crushes a secret, and they can usually tell by first glance if someone is worth getting to know on a romantic level.
