Online dating has changed a great deal in the past few decades. For one thing, there are options out there that don’t cost an arm and a leg. In fact, most apps out there today are free with the option to pay for premium features, but most people opt for the free option.
Also because they’re free, there are a lot of people using them. On Tinder alone, there are 50 million users. With that many users, it can be hard to find your perfect match. Follow these tips you’ll be on your way to finding your future love for free.
Be active on it.
When we know that something is free, we’re less likely to be concerned about using it. It’s like how you hit Interested on Facebook for a bunch of events that you’re never attending. Using a free app means that you’re not worried about using the app. You’re not paying for it so, if you have the app forever, it’s no big deal. But, if you’re trying to find someone you connect with, you’re not going to if you’re only opening the app every few days.
Spend less time swiping.
Have you ever run out of your swipes for the day on Tinder? If so, you might be using Tinder in a way that’s just not going to help you find a good match. Really think about the person that you’re swiping on. Are you swiping right because they’re cute? Or because you thought they were attractive and their profile connected with you? If your goal is connections, not hook-ups, take your time and swipe only on the people you feel you’d connect with.
Spend more time messaging.
A match is fun and all, but, if you have 500 matches and no conversations going, it’s not going to turn into anything. Alternatively, if you’re waiting around for them to message, you may be waiting a long time. If you matched with someone, then, hopefully, you’re genuinely interested in them. So, regardless of what your gender is, just send that opening message. Try to put some thought into it. What connected with you in their profile? What stood out in a picture that made you swipe? Open with that. It’s good to find common ground right out of the gate rather than searching for it later on.
Remember to respond.
Are you a bad texter? Do you see a message and then wait a day or more to answer? If so, you’re likely doing that on your dating apps as well. If you’re doing that, you’re going to have a really hard time finding a connection. Basically, messaging on a dating app should be like having an opening conversations. And it’s hard to get into any time of flow if that conversation is spread out over the course of days. Turn your notifications on and try to respond at least within a few hours of the message. If you have the time and ability to just focus on the conversation, try to do that and respond within a few minutes instead. But most people understand that life goes on even when you’re on a dating app and you will likely have some breaks between conversations. Just try to keep those breaks to the minimum.
Try to hold off on the sexual talk.
If you’re looking for a hook-up, this advice is not for you. But if you’re looking for a long term connection, consider this. It’s great to find common ground in regards to what you enjoy in the bedroom. In fact, I think it’s really important that you talk about your sexual interests. But try not to do it right out of the gate.
If your new match doesn’t know anything about you but your sexual interest, they might think that’s all you’re about and that’s all you want from them. You should talk about it, but wait until after you’ve already established what you’re looking for and until you’ve already found connections that don’t come from sex.
Remember that you don’t have to do anything with anyone.
Sometimes you match with someone and you start a conversation only to feel bad vibes from that person. You thought from their profile that they’d be a good fit, but they’re definitely not what you’re looking for. And that’s okay. You do not have to continue a conversation or set up a date with someone who is giving you bad vibes. Even more so if this person continues to message you demanding your attention or insult you.
If the person seems like they’re an okay person and they’re talking to you in a kind and respectful manner, return the favor. Be kind and respectful when you say that you don’t want to continue the conversation. But if the person is insulting you or demanding a date, just unmatch them. Nobody should put up with that. You don’t owe them.
Be honest about what you want with your match and yourself.
If you want a long term connection and you match with someone who is looking for a hook-up, understand you shouldn’t try to change their mind. Even if you really like them, you’re looking for different things. In the end, it’s wasted time and emotional energy. Narrow your search to people who are looking for the same thing.
Free online dating is just like any other form of dating. You get out of it what you put into it. If you’re not really using the app or not really talking to your matches, you’re not going to find the right match. Take the time to really talk and get to know them. The best things in life really are free.