Online dating gives you endless opportunities to meet potential dates, because the pool of people is always being replenished. You can search for someone who shares your passion for the arts, or someone who sees marriage and a family in their future, or someone who wants to dabble in dating after losing a spouse. To help you attract the type of person you’re interested in, I want you to maximize your chances of getting noticed, and that means making an amazing dating profile.
Here are six dating profile tips that will help you stand out from the crowd:
1. Make it conversational.
We’re all drawn to authenticity and sincerity. You want to make your potential date feel as if you’re talking directly to him or her. That means, the more you can make your online crush feel an instantaneous connection with you the greater the likelihood he or she will want to message you. In your profile, you could even ask a question like, “Are You ready for the loudest screams when we ride a roller-coaster?” or “Wouldn’t it be exciting if we could share our love of museums by going to three in one weekend?” By writing your profile in the same style that you use to chat with your friends, you’ll be giving your potential dates a sneak peek at what dating you would really be like.
2. Keep some of your thoughts to yourself.
You don’t have to spill your guts and divulge everything about yourself in your dating profile. Honesty is a must, but full disclosure is not recommended. Because you’re promoting yourself, shine the spotlight on your accomplishments, talents, and everything wonderful about you.
Don’t share that you were fired from your most recent job, had gastric bypass surgery, or have $5,000 in credit card debt and don’t go into the gory details of your last two breakups. And whatever you do (even if you’re thinking it) don’t say online dating is your last resort. Essentially, you are insulting anyone looking at your profile.
3. Headlines sell newspapers. (And you.)
In real life, your username is your smile, your scent, your flirty laugh, and your body language. In digital life, your username is your chance to make an unforgettable first impression and capture your crush’s attention so he or she will be intrigued to read on. It could be your only chance to get him/her to go from viewing you to contacting you.
Take your time while selecting your username, because your username equals your personal brand. It sends a message about who you are, and it will either attract your ideal match, or make them run away as quickly as possible. Your job is to be your very own marketing and public relations manager.
Online dating reminds me of window shopping—you only stop and take notice when the shoe looks like it would be a perfect fit. Your username paired with your photo is the best way to go from the “online racks” (only looking) to the “online cash register” (definitely clicking). Because you only have a nanosecond for those viewing you to stay or leave, creating an intriguing, unique, fun username is essential.
Online dating is competitive. I wish I could give all of you a unique username, but since I can’t, here are some suggestions:
- Let’s start with an iced decaf cappuccino
- Rx for Love
- Country man turned City Slicker
- Lifetime Warranty
- Passionate for Sailing
4. Stay away from what you don’t want.
This is so hard to avoid. I know you want to lay your cards out on the table. You may think that if you say no drugs, no cheaters, no liars, no hook ups, no players, no one who eats meat, no one who is self-employed, no one without a credit card, etc., you’ve found the perfect way to find someone who has the qualities that you think you want. Unfortunately, even is something meets your list of qualifications, they’ll probably be turned off by it too. When daters see someone listing what they don’t want they usually think, “I’m sure you will find something wrong with me too and who needs someone who has a long list of don’ts.?”
5. Create an imperfect profile.
When your profile is honest and accurately describes who you are, it guarantees that your date will look forward to meeting the real you. How wonderful is that! Instead of agonizing on trying to write the perfect profile, how about writing an imperfect one and explain why? It’s a very unique and different approach. Here is an example of what you can write:
I have been working on my profile for days. Every time I think it’s “perfect” I wonder what you are going to think of it(me) and will you want to meet me.? So, after another week obsessing over what to write I decided that I was going to tell you who I really am, and even if you go on to the next profile, that’s okay because we all aren’t going to click. First let me tell you about some of my blemishes; I can be a picky eater, I prefer not to argue, I need a lot of affection and I can be a worrier. Phew…. I am glad that is out of the way. The part about my hobbies. I am not athletic, don’t have any collections and prefer not to do daring kinds of things like ziplining. But, I promise you that I am one of the most interesting, curious, down to earth, fun, fascinating, warm, adventurous, caring and humble (LOL) people you will ever meet. The funniest things make me so happy, winning $5.00 on a scratch off lotto ticket, finding my long lost favorite pair of shoes, hanging at an outdoor free concert, and getting an I love u text for no reason! I would do anything for the love of my life. It would be fabulous if you have a huge heart and smile to go along with your quick wit, your inquiring mind, your adorable face and body, and if most of your interests are even different from mine. How about going for burger or frozen yogurt with yummy toppings to see if we click! Talk soon.
The bottom line is that you pay a price if you’re not authentic and frank. An you increase your chances of being disappointed because your date was expecting someone else to show up.
Always remember that your goal is to capture your crush’s attention instantaneously so he/she will want to contact you. This is your moment to sing your own praises, show your wit, be a window to your soul, and demonstrate your approachability.
You want those viewing you to say wow and visualize how you will capture their heart. Self-promotion with a touch of humility and tenderness is the ideal blend.
Fran Greene LCSW is a nationally renowned relationship expert. Flirting is her hobby, love is her passion, and her dream is for you to have a loving relationship. She has a private practice working with singles who want to maximize their social life and couples who want to improve their relationships. And she’s also an accomplished online dating coach. To learn more about how to get back into the dating world check out her newest book Dating Again with Courage & Confidence. She is also the author of The Flirting Bible. Visit Fran at www.frangreene.com.