Why do we search for love? It’s like asking why the sun shines or why water is wet. We don’t always know why we search for love; we just do it. Perhaps the only answer to such a complex question is simply because.
Most of us hope that one day we’ll find someone we love who will love us back. We don’t really question why. We feel an almost subconscious drive, and in our search most of us encounter a lot of false alarms, dead ends, and failures before finding the person who makes all our struggles worth the effort.
Zoosk, the online dating site, recently asked its members, “Why do you search for love? What are your personal reasons for continuing along the path towards relationship fulfillment?” And the answers they received were surprisingly honest…
“I am looking for hope.”
“My life would not be as happy without love, and I know I need some kind of romantic love and intimacy to feel content, but other than that, I suppose I search because someday, I hope to really find that puzzle piece that will complete my life that I’ve yet to grasp.”
“Taking a drive to admire fall colors, or Christmas lights, or whatever it is without someone is just really not worth the bother. Cuddling is simply impossible without someone to share it with. I’ve had nobody to give a foot rub to since she left and it’s driving me nuts. I also miss having somebody around who’s back needs scratching. Not having an outlet for this stuff is much harder than I anticipated. I have nobody to send camera phone pics of flowers or blue skies to. Nobody to share the little details of my days. It’s enough to make a guy take up blogging!”
“I’m fine being alone but it’s instinctual to want to connect. Humans by nature are communal. Most of us just want to connect with others. We want to share our lives with someone because it brings purpose for our being.”
“Looking for love is more about finding someone worth sharing all of these wonderful and beautiful things in life with at a level that friends just can’t. Not to mention there’s nothing like coming home to the open arms of someone special when you think you’ve had more than you can take.”
“‘I’m looking because life is too short to waste away. It’s best shared with someone special who fills in the gaps. Someone to share the little things and big things with. Someone to laugh and joke around with… someone who will for no reason smile and out of the blue and rock your world.”
“I’m looking for love because I want that special connection. I want to be some gal’s man and for her to be my gal.”
“My reasons are to have someone to connect with, especially emotionally and mentally. I do not think you can find that in this world a lot, but it’s rare also. I definitely miss every little thing about being in a serious relationship—the hugs and kisses, the falling asleep together, being your natural self around someone totally different from you—it’s an amazing feeling. The main thing is, I want to have someone that I can be myself with completely. I want to be with someone where we can both receive what we want from the other person equally and respectfully. I want to be in love, that real love.”
“My reasons? In some way I’m not entirely sure… I guess it’s for that feeling of warmth that comes from having another person around. I guess love to me is what happiness is. To see the one you love’s smile once more, there is nothing more wonderful than that. I would do anything to have that feeling again. That is my reason to be here. In the hope of finding someone who would smile everyday for me.”
“Looking for my other half gives me insight into other people and myself. It lets me see the bright and dark side of so many people, the grey areas, and how they all tie together and work. In an odd way, it helps me see how bad habits or bad intentions can be used for good things.”
“I have always dreamed of making a family, being a father, being a husband, etc. It’s been one of my long-term goals since I was 16 years old. I was never one for casual flings. That sort of thing always seemed like a waste of time, energy, and emotion to me.”
“I look for love because it’s just one of those beautiful things you can’t replicate. You can’t force it and you can’t do it alone.”