What Older Women Dating Today Really Want

An older woman dating today, sitting on a man's lap while he unzips her dress and they kiss.

Dating changes a lot as you grow older. Important traits that you’d look for in a significant other during your teens and 20s are almost completely different than when you’re dating past your 40s. The good news is, the older you are, the more likely it is that you’ll find yourself with people who are serious about growing a strong relationship. As the years go by, the amount of relationship drama seems to dwindle. And it’s something you won’t miss.

But, that doesn’t mean that you should stop being choosy about who you go out with. Regardless of your age, you deserve to spend time with someone who’s actually compatible with your personality and way of life. Today, older women seek out particular traits from the very first date.

If you’re wondering what older woman dating today are really looking for, here are a few of the things they’re focusing on.

A sense of humor.
Life can get messy sometimes—but even when things are hard, a smile is always appreciated. Older women look for men who can make them laugh and remind them not to take things too seriously. A good sense of humor is also a good sign that someone is an optimist, or at least, likes to bring out the best in every situation.

Somebody who will never stop romancing them.
Not saying that older women need a big bouquet of flowers before every date, but it’s nice to try and keep the romance alive even after things become official. Just a kind yet sincere compliment will make anyone’s day. No matter how old we get, all of us have insecurities and need a little bit of an ego boost on occasion. And plus, romance is part of what makes dating more fun!

Someone who won’t be bothered by the past.
Older women all have a history. Maybe they’re twice-divorced, or perhaps their last relationship was toxic. Maybe they honestly never had time to date and settle down due to their career choice, or maybe they were too shy to put themselves out there until now. No matter what the situation may be, older women are looking to start fresh in a new relationship and don’t want to dwell on the past.

A partner who’s more into personality than looks.
It’s important to be physically attracted to your partner, but oftentimes, physical attraction arises from an incredible personality and a kind heart. When people are warm, kind, and compassionate toward others, they often immediately become more attractive to their partner. Sure, everyone has a preference—but older women don’t want to be with someone who’ll quickly get bored with their looks or become critical over a small weight fluctuation. They’re more comfortable with who they are.

Someone who’ll push them to be the best version of themselves.
As people, we’re constantly improving. But it’s so easy to cancel plans, take a night or three to enjoy a show on Netflix with a microwaveable dinner in hand, or simply shrug off a work opportunity because things are okay the way they are. The best partners don’t want their loved ones to settle for what’s easy. If a better opportunity is out there, they’ll want their partner to take it. Older women cherish relationships where their partner wants to see them grow.

A person who seems to have their life (somewhat) together.
Nobody’s life is perfect—but by a certain age, we expect people to have their own paths somewhat paved out. Older women appreciate it when the people they date have a good life and career plan ahead of them. They’re not looking for a project, or someone they need to take care of.

A best friend.
It’s true—the best relationships come from friendships. While older women still enjoy flings and hookups (why not?) they’re looking for a best friend when it comes to settling down. This is the person they’ll, hopefully, spend the rest of their days with. With a best friend comes love, respect, shared interests, and trust.

More than anything, when you get older you get sick of… well, bullshit. Older woman aren’t into playing games and the majority of them are going to upfront and honest with you about how they’re feeling and what they want. Enjoy it and enjoy each other.

Karen Belz

Freelance Writer

Karen Belz has written for sites like Bustle, PreviouslyTV, Heavy, and HelloGiggles. She’s also the founder of Best Recap Ever, a site that’s focused on television news and reviews. She’s a fan of sketch comedy shows and most movies that involve Muppets, and has been addicted to Sugar Free Red Bull since 2005.

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