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4 Ways to Focus on Personal Growth After a Breakup

A man who's working on personal growth after a breakup looking out at the sunset at the end of his run.

I recently experienced a breakup where I officially ended my relationship with my ex-boyfriend and, believe me, it was hard. It took some time, a lot of crying, and listening to The Weeknd’s new album My Dear Melancholy, but eventually it all made me realize that I would be perfectly fine with more time and more healing.

Oftentimes, the hardest part about a break up is realizing that you’ll never see your ex again and deciding to use your time to focus on yourself so you can heal and grow from the experience.

If you’ve just broken up with someone and are looking for a way to move on stronger, here are four ways you can use your breakup as a way to work on personal growth.

1. Find projects that make you happy.
One of the best ways you can heal after a breakup is by focusing on the emotional work of improving yourself. I found that the best way for me to heal was to stop and listen to myself and focus on the projects and things that make me happy. Some of these projects were working out and eating healthy. But I also renovated my apartment. Not only were these healthy distractions from what I was feeling but they helped me realize that focusing on self-improvement is one of the best ways you can roll up your sleeves and move forward. Focusing on personal growth after a break-up and finding projects that go along with that will change the way you think and will strengthen your awareness, action, and self-discipline.

2. Go to your friends.
I knew I wanted to put myself out there, whether it was trying new Meetups and Eventbrite events I was interested in, saying hi to someone at the gym, or making more of an effort to communicate with people in my daily life. If you lost touch with some of your friends while you were busy being in a relationship, now’s the time to reach out to them. Don’t be afraid text them and ask for a girls/guys night out. But it’s also a great time to meet new people and push yourself.

I’m all for staying home and having a Netflix night while sipping on a glass of Rose (that can be an important part of healing too) but whether we were going out or just hanging out, my friends helped me get through some of the hardest days after my breakup.

3. Invest in yourself and make it part of your routine.
After creating a regular schedule for my workouts, I realized that working out added more value to my life and helped me heal faster in mind, body, and soul. Adding exercise into my lifestyle gave my daily schedule more of a purpose. It was a way for me to have time to myself, and helped me get my confidence back and realize my self-worth. Maybe investing in yourself means something different to you—it could be about making time for a creative project, reading, or volunteering. Whatever it is, make it part of your daily routine.

4. Be authentic.

The quality of being real or true:

The word authenticity is the state of something being authentic, or legitimate and true. Authenticity is important when the value of something is dependent on where it came from or how it was made.

So, you’ve done a great job so far of finding personal growth projects that make you happy, reconnecting with your friends, and creating a regular schedule around something that gives you purpose. Now’s the time to focus on being authentic. What do I mean to that? I mean you need to be true to yourself.

Recognizing your value and loving yourself is one of the most important lessons you’ll learn after a breakup. I realized after I broke up with my ex that I wanted to grow and develop more of a moral mindset, which would ultimately help me become a better person. As you move on from your heartbreak, you too can become stronger, work on your relationships with your friends, and learn to love yourself.

You may be surprised by how much you can change and how better you can feel.

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