All couples go through different relationship moods, some good and some not so great. The question is, how normal is the level of bad moods you’re experiencing? Is it impacting your quality of life? And how does it make you feel?
If your partner seems to have moods that change with the wind, it can feel quite overwhelming. The important thing is to know the difference between a bad day and something more serious.
Here are a few tips that can help you navigate your partner’s moods…
Ways to Handle Relationship Moods
Don’t take it personally
If they’re just in a crappy mood, it probably has nothing to do with you or your behavior. But if your significant other is taking their mood out on you? That’s a problem. You could be looking at a relationship red flag.
But if they’re managing to keep their grump to themselves and you can just tell that’s what’s going on, don’t sweat it. Their mood is their responsibility to manage. You’re not in control of their emotions.
You can let them grump it out in peace, remembering it’s not your job to fix their mood for them. Good partnerships involve letting the other person manage their own emotions.
While relationship moods come in many different varieties, this is a move that should work for any of them. If you’re having a bad day, your other half holding your hand through it helps, right? Exactly.
Offering support does not mean you can fix the problem for them, it just means being there for them. Ask if they need anything to help them destress or if they’d like someone to listen while they vent.
See if there’s any way you can make their day a bit easier or if there’s something they need to get done that you can help with. We bet they’ll appreciate it.
Give them some space
Sometimes the best gift you can give your moody partner is the gift of space, whatever that looks like for the two of you.
Do you live together? Maybe you can spend the evening in a separate room. Are you in constant contact with your partner throughout the day? Let them know you’re giving them some time alone, and then don’t text for a few hours.
Meanwhile use this time to do something you enjoy or find calming. Whatever giving space looks like for you, try it out. It might help.
Talk through the relationship moods
If you feel your partner’s mood swings are really affecting your relationship, it’s important to discuss that with them.
Calmly explain how you feel and why you’re concerned. We advise doing this when you’re both feeling calm, not when your partner is feeling low.
Asking your partner why this is happening so much might yield some surprising answers. And being open and honest with each other will bring you two closer.
They may be unaware that you’ve picked up on their mood, maybe they thought they were hiding it better. Or they might just be unaware in general and out of touch with their own inner emotional life.
Bringing it to the table when you’re both in a good place can be a helpful step in regaining closeness and working through it together.
It’s okay to be open and honest with your partner about how their moodiness is affecting you. It’s possible that they’re unaware of how they’re coming across when they’re in a bad mood, or they just haven’t thought about it.
If you haven’t told them how their moods can make you feel before, now is the time to disclose that. It doesn’t have to be in a blaming or shaming way, but sharing your feelings is an important part of a healthy partnership.
If your moody partner isn’t willing to listen, that could be a sign that it’s best for you to move forward. Your happiness is just as important as theirs.
Take care of yourself
Learning to separate your well-being from your partner is a vital skill. If they’re in a bad place? You can support them, without always being there with them.
Of course, seeing your partner go through something or feel down is tough and it’s only natural to feel for them. But if you can, remember to take the time to care for yourself.
You know that thing about oxygen masks on airplanes? You have to put your own on first before you can help anyone else. This applies to self-care in a relationship as well. You need to take care of your own needs in order to be of any use to your partner.
Consider outside support
Opening up to close friends or a therapist is another option available for you. It’s important to know you have space to realize your own feelings and these options can really help with that. Especially if you’re in a relationship mood that doesn’t allow for it.
You can vent freely to a friend and ask for advice or vent to a therapist and get a professional’s opinion on how to proceed with a moody partner.
If you’d like, recommend therapy to your partner as well. But since you can only control your own actions, it’s ok to go alone.
Pursuing therapy doesn’t mean you’re giving up on the relationship. It just means you’re looking for tools to help your relationship thrive and grow, and that’s a good thing.
Juggling relationship moods can feel draining. If you feel your partner’s moods are impacting you and/or the relationship too much, then speak to them about it.
An understanding partner will hear you out and want to work through these issues with you. After all, a problem shared is a problem halved!