We all want to show our partners that we care for them. Everyone does this differently though, from surprising them with a romantic love song to organizing a cozy Netflix night in. But, does it sometimes seem like your way of expressing your love for your partner is different from theirs? So different that it feels as if you’re both speaking a different language? Don’t worry! This is pretty common and relates to a concept known as love languages.
But, what are love languages, how many love languages are there, and what are the different types? Below, we’ve tackled all of this and more to give you a complete overview of this ever-developing relationship topic.
What Is a Love Language and How Many Are There?
Essentially, a love language is how you prefer to demonstrate and receive love. The concept was developed by the author, pastor, and counselor Dr. Gary Chapman back in 1992. After spending several years counseling couples, Dr. Champan spotted a pattern: People’s personalities vary and this means they give and receive love in different ways. Dr. Chapman described each of these ways as a love language.
After reading through his notes, Dr. Champan proposed five different languages to describe how we give and receive love. But, what are the different love languages? And, why is it important to know about these when you’re in a relationship?
What Are the 5 Different Love Languages?
In his book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” Dr. Champan introduced his concept to the world, breaking the idea of love languages into five categories: words of affirmation; quality time; gifts; physical touch; and acts of service. Below, we’ve laid out each of these in more detail.
1. Words of affirmation
The words of affirmation love language is about receiving validating and loving communication from your partner. For example, if you love hearing “I love you” and appreciate getting texts that express just how much your partner adores and appreciates you, then it’s likely that words of affirmation is your primary love language.
Those with words of affirmation as their love language also tend to appreciate inspiring quotes and words of encouragement whenever they feel down. A love paragraph would definitely be something they’d adore! But if that’s too much at first, a sincere compliment is a great way to kick off the day with someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation.
2. Quality time
People with quality time as their love language feel most appreciated and loved when their partner makes the effort to spend time together. The emphasis here is on “quality,” which means that sitting on the couch looking at your phone doesn’t count.
Quality time means you and your partner connect through doing things that strengthen your bond. This could include trying out a new hobby, organizing some cool date ideas, or just catching up through an intimate and meaningful conversation.
The point is that you’re fully present and are giving them your undivided attention. Carving out a space in your schedule regularly to spend time together is key for someone whose love language is quality time.
When it comes to answering the question “what are the 5 different love languages?” this is a pretty straightforward one. The gifts love language covers those who love receiving gifts as tokens of appreciation and adoration. It’s important to note that the gift needn’t be grand or expensive. People with this love language appreciate the time and effort put into the gift as much as the gift itself. They really treasure and take note of everything you’ve given.
Receiving gifts isn’t about the quantity but the quality of it. Even surprising your partner with their favorite chocolate or picking up some flowers for them on the way home from work can go a long way.
4. Acts of service
The acts of service love language describes someone who values their partner going out of their way to make their life easier. For example, vacuuming the house, picking up the kids from school when they’ve had a busy day at work, or making their coffee in the morning.
These people believe that actions speak louder than words. They prefer to see you express your love through what you do rather than what you say. Anticipating their needs and making them feel comfortable goes a long way here. Even putting some gas in the car is a nice way to make them feel cared for.
5. Physical touch
Like gifts, physical touch is pretty clear in terms of how a person feels loved and appreciated. Apart from sex, this person feels adored when you hold their hand, offer them a massage, or play with their hair. Kissing them good morning and goodnight is also something they’d love and cuddling on the couch regularly is a must.
Identify and Understand Each Other’s Love Language
So, now that you’ve got the answer to the question “what are the 5 different love languages?” you’re probably wondering which love language applies to each of you. Even if you have a pretty good idea of this already, fill out the love languages quiz to discover more. You might be surprised about the results!
But, how important are love languages in a relationship? Simply put, knowing your partner’s love language can help you to understand and anticipate their needs. In doing so, you’ll be better equipped to support them and show up in a way that helps them feel loved.
Knowing how love languages fit into your relationship is not only great for understanding your partner on a deeper and more authentic level though. It can also be an amazing way to add some spark back into your relationship. By knowing how to love your partner better, you’ll be in a better position to ignite some passion and romance like never before!
The Bottom Line
Love languages can play an integral role in creating a good relationship. They’re not the be-all and end-all, but once you and your partner know each other’s love language, you’ll have a better chance of understanding each other’s wants, needs, and desires. This, in turn, can help to deepen your love for each other and create a more meaningful connection.