Flirting is hard for some of us. And when we see someone who can flirt without thinking about it it seems completely unfair. It’s almost like their entire being is flirtatious. They can flip their hair and bat their lashes and they always have something charming and witty to say. But even though flirting comes naturally for some, for other people (the vast majority of people) a little assistance is needed. For those of you that need a little help getting your flirtatious banter to the next level, we’ve got you covered.
Here are a few examples of flirty messages to send over text or online.
1. Ask questions.
Okay, questions maybe don’t initially seem flirty, but there is a very real way to make them flirty. You can be directly flirty or you can ask a question that will lead to being flirty. For example, asking someone you’ve been interested in something like, “How are you doing?” or “What are you up to tonight?” is naturally a flirty question. Just like we all learned from Joey Tribbiani on Friends, something as simple as “How you doin?” can lead to all kinds of flirtatious encounters. When you ask someone what they’re up to you’re also implying that you care what they’re doing and that you might like to join them.
You can also be much more bold in your question. Sending someone a direct message or a text that simply says, “Are you interested in spending more time with me?” or something like, “Would you like to go out sometime?” pretty much bypasses any skepticism about what you’re looking for. If they respond in a pleased manner, you’re set. The flirtation will naturally carry on from there.
2. Tell them something they don’t know.
A lot of flirting is about being coy, but on the flip-side, flirting is also about a little reveal.
“Did you know I took an acrobat class in college?” is a text that can serve as not only a true statement, but a loaded one. If you send your crush a text or DM about acrobatics, his or her mind may start to wander toward how flexible you are and how that might be something you can share with them in the future. Just make sure the statement is true. It’s not very flirty or fun to blatantly lie to someone you’d like to spend more time with.
If you’re not an acrobat, there are plenty of other cute and flirty things you can reveal too.
“So, I had a dream about you last night…” is a great way to open the door to some serious flirting. “Oh, really… tell me more” is something you can expect to hear back from the recipient of your flirtatious text. If they don’t budge, feel free to add a bit more. “I’d love to tell you about it, but it’s kind of embarrassing.” If at that point, they still aren’t interested, maybe give it a rest. Being flirtatious is about having fun, being sexy and cute, but it’s not about pressuring someone to respond to you.
3. Rely on emojis and GIFs.
Okay, this may make you feel like a youngster, but the way of the future is emojis. Emojis and GIFs have made online and text message communication that much more fun and flirty. In recent years, emojis and GIFs have been incorporated into all of our online communications including Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and even dating apps. Within basically any message, you can search for a GIF or use an emoji to convey an even more flirtatious approach. The simple question, “How are you doing?” is now inherently flirtier if you add a smiley face, a winking face, or any other emoji that you feel compelled to send. To be completely clear, some people can have full sexy conversations using only emojis. Up your game by sending a kissy face after the text, “It was so nice to see you tonight.” Or incorporate a GIF of Leslie Knope confessing her feelings to Ben Wyatt to let your texting pal know that you’re really into them. There are a million options here. Choose GIFs that relate to what you two like or simply search “wink” in GIFs and go crazy.
Emojis are a little more open-ended, but there is something for everyone. Just be aware of the sexually suggestive emojis: the peach, the water drops, the eggplant, the cherry, the drooling face are usually pretty sexual. (Though they can also be used for conversations about pizza.)
4. Plan ahead.
There is nothing flirtier than making a plan. If you like this person, why not let them know by suggesting a date?
“Thursday night sushi is kind of a tradition in my life. Would you like to join next week?” Slip in a wink face emoji or a bottle of wine emoji and your flirty text is perfect.
“Have you seen Ocean’s 8 yet? I think we’ll both agree there is something really appealing about watching that many beautiful women run the world. Free on Friday?” Especially while using dating apps, it’s pretty great when someone takes that next step to actually meet up. If you know you like this person, ask them out! Being bold definitely constitutes as being flirty.
5. Be cute and coy.
Cute and coy messages will always generate interest from a potential partner/lover. Being bold is fantastic and there is a time and place for that, but being coy is great too.
“I keep smiling thinking about our night last night.” There are no specific details in that text, but it screams “flirtatious” and demands a response.
“We should have some fun again soon.” With this text you’re hinting at future plans without placing any pressure on the other person to set a date. That kind of a flirtatious text will open up the door for a fun conversation while you plan your next rendezvous.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Another great example. It’s classic, simple, and timeless.
6. Text about what you know.
“Did you catch the game last night?” Though this text doesn’t necessarily stand out as extraordinarily romantic or playful, it is inherently flirty. You both love basketball so you’re reaching out to let him or her know that you are thinking about them in regards to this shared interest. It will easily lend itself to watching the game together in the future.
“Are you caught up on Black Mirror?” This is a show you both like and have discussed, so why not use it to your advantage? If he or she isn’t caught up on Black Mirror, the next response is much flirtier. “I’m not caught up either. Seems like we’ve got some Netflix in our future.”
There are so many things you may have in common—movies, television shows, sports, museum openings, food. Whatever you’ve got, use it to your advantage. You can spin a simple question about trying a new cheeseburger into a date. The flirting lives within the initial question—because everyone knows what someone means when they suggest watching Netflix together.
Flirting isn’t everyone’s strong suit, yet we’re all capable of it. Choose one of these categories and practice sending a few flirtatious text messages or dating app messages. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll notice how quickly asking one or two questions can lead to some really flirtatious fun.