Picking This Summer’s Perfect Wedding Date

So you got a wedding invitation and, thankfully, the bride and groom have given you the “and guest” on the invite – I mean, you want the option, right? But now that you have that special privilege, it’s really important that you do not abuse it. Think carefully about whether you have an appropriate wedding date to bring, and whether you really should.

Does your potential date know anybody in the wedding group? Has he/she had a previous relationship with any key members of the wedding? If your date’s mere presence will cause drama, RSVP for one.

If this is a destination wedding, are you at the point where you can comfortably share a hotel room with him or her? Can he or she afford the plane ticket and other associated expenses? Or are you prepared to pick up the tab? If you’re not prepared to foot the bill, you run the risk of putting your +1’s financials in a precarious situation.

Is it too soon? Don’t invite somebody you have barely started dating to accompany you to a wedding, especially if you are a bridesmaid or groomsman. I think it’s the best way in the world to scare them away – especially men. Guys tend to associate women and weddings with commitment. If you’re not there yet, but you’d like to be eventually, don’t invite him or her to be your +1. Better to leave them home and wishing you’d extended the invite.

Can your date hold his or her liquor? If you’ve seen your date misbehave in the past at a bar or restaurant, you can’t be certain (unless you’ve been together a long time and attended a wedding together) that he or she knows their limits at such an auspicious occasion. You don’t want to be remembered as the friend who brought the guest from hell.

Be cautious about inviting someone you’ve just started dating to a wedding that will be filled with your closest friends and family. That’s baptism by fire, especially if they’ve never met before. What are the odds your parents won’t mortify you at some point? If you’re desperate for a date, go for it – but expect it to be the last one you have with this person.

There is a gross misconception (mostly by women) that going solo to a wedding is a hideous experience. But don’t forget something very, very important – weddings are a great opportunity to meet somebody new and interesting. You won’t be the only single there, and you never know who you might meet.


As the star of TLC’s Wedding Island, Sandy Malone will do anything to give her clients the wedding of their dreams. In addition to running a full-service wedding planning business, Sandy provides her expertise for The Huffington Post, Purple Unions, and Wedding Wire’s “Wedding Aces”.


Joan Actually

Dating Expert

Joan is a writer and dating expert.

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