a razer

Dear Joan Actually,

Despite being perfectly up to par with his personal hygiene, my guy’s back hair is a total turnoff. I can see it through his shirts, and it’s just not working for me. At the beach, I didn’t even want to put sunscreen on his back. I HATE to hurt his feelings or make him feel self-conscious, so I’m wondering if I should anything at all. It’s just hair. UGH but it’s just so much of it. Am I being too shallow? What do I do? 

Unlike a flawed personality, excess hair is an easy problem to solve. And, as far as compatibility goes, extra fuzz is nothing that should stand in the way of a great relationship. Sure it can be awkward to bring up, but with a little finesse, you can help him understand your preferences. Whether it’s back hair or receding hair, keep the conversations light, gentle, and private.

Since your success hinges on the approach, think it through. If you scold or embarrass your guy, he’s not going to be open to the hair removal. “Just be honest, but also soft and loving,” says Bryce Gruber, editor of The Luxury Spot, a sharp-witted lifestyle blog. “Try something like ‘wow, you’re manlier than Paul Bunyan, but wouldn’t it be fun to be smooth back there? I think that would be sexy. I can laser you.'”

Say what?

back-hair-laser (1)

Yes. Laser.

There are several ways to remove unwanted hair. Waxing, shaving, plucking, and, yes, lasering. Although shaving is painless, your guy might experience some annoying itching and irritation when the hair starts growing back—which it will. Waxing will keep him smoother longer, but when that hot wax is applied to his skin and then ripped off like a band-aid, he might think you 1, possess sadistic tendencies, or 2, are punishing him for reasons unknown. Plucking is fine, but if you have a large surface area, you might want to reconsider. That leaves us with laser, a permanent solution to the back hair.

“Lasering might be a sensitive topic for men,” says Bryce. “Some guys might be too shy to get lasered at a spa or doctor’s office.” If that’s the case, don’t worry. There’s a workaround.  “There are hair removal lasers that you can operate discreetly in your own home for the same price as a trip to the dermatologist’s office,” she says.

With so many ways to take care of the extra back fuzz, you can get your guy smooth in no time. And with hair removal out of the way, you can focus on the bigger issues.

Joan Actually

Dating Expert

Joan is a writer and dating expert.