happy couple dancing as she learns to understand men better

Let’s be honest: men can be confusing. No doubt you find yourself deciphering his action, moods, and what his last text message really meant. Whether you’ve been dating for three weeks or three months, his behavior still might confuse you. So how do you stop the madness and get a grasp on this “mysterious” man that you’ve fallen for?

Follow the four ways below on how you can better get to grips with understanding men

Learning The Code: Understanding Men And Their Mystery

Share Your Vulnerable Side, First 

No, it’s not just you: men can be emotional vaults. Meaning they can struggle to show their most intimate emotions and can have trouble processing and expressing their feelings.

If you’re trying to get your man to open up or communicate, whether it’s about the stress he’s experiencing at his job or regarding a recent conflict, your best bet is to show your soft underbelly side first. 

Share a vulnerable story of your own that you feel comfortable with divulging. By sharing something personal and intimate with your man, you’re showing him that you trust him and that you are a safe space for that type of communication. Hopefully, this will inspire him to do the same. 

Play With Him 

Men enjoy their downtime. They connect with their friends by doing things rather than talking about them. Which explains why they zone out whenever they play video games with their buddies or look forward to their Thursday night rock climbing gym night. 

If you want to get to know your man better, then do an activity together. While date nights are fun, actively engaging with him at a hobby that both of you love – or at least one that you’re willing to try – will deepen your connection. It allows you to connect in new ways and show a different side to him. 

Ask For His Advice

Most men enjoy problem-solving and are given to more logical thinking. Which explains why whenever you vent to him about your friends or family, he seems to come up with a solution, instead of just listening and letting you speak your piece.

It might be a little annoying at times, but wanting to fix something is naturally inherent to a majority of male thinking patterns. Use this to your advantage if you want to know how your man feels about a certain topic or situation.

Ask him for his advice. Get him to problem solve something with you. He’ll feel useful, which he loves, and you will get to pick his brain and find out more about him. Solving an issue or problem together can be a great bonding experience

Let Him Have Some Space

Men love taking space because they love their freedom. That’s not to say he doesn’t want to be with you, but it’s important for a man to have time to be with himself and he wants to know that you’re okay with that.

So when he takes space, give it to him and use that time for you to do the things that you love to do. It’s healthy for a couple to both have their own personal spaces away from each other. 

When he reconnects, this is a great opportunity to ask him what he did in his spare time. Get curious about his life apart from your time together. You might even ask what activities he enjoys that refuels him. Ask how that makes him feel and why.

Don’t take his desire for space as a personal rejection, instead, get curious about it! You’ll end up knowing more about why it’s important to him which will help you understand who he is when he’s on his own.

Men don’t mean to be confusing. They’re just built differently than a woman, and that’s a good thing! Just as understanding men can be tricky for women, it’s vice versa for men. We are all different, but you can complement each other with openness and trust.

Appreciating your differences is a good place to start whenever you start to wonder, “what’s this guy’s deal?” By sharing your vulnerability with him and getting curious about his life, while engaging in some play, you’ll be able to better connect with him on multiple levels and be fast on the way to understanding him better. 

Brianne Hogan

Freelance Writer

Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who’s been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a “do what I say, not do what I do” approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren’t looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that’s her motto). Her byline’s been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.