Attractive 40 year old woman drinking coffee in cafe

If you’re a 40-year-old woman, you may feel uncomfortable with the idea of dating again. While you want to find love, dating can be nerve-wracking and it’s a different world today. It might not suit your level of comfort, but let’s be honest, most of the things we want in life require us to step outside our comfort zone. 

Going online might not be your only hang-up about dating at your age. With the plethora of active singles online, you could be wondering, how do you stand out from the crowd? No longer in your 20s and 30s, you could be self-conscious about what you have to offer.

Well, guess what? As a 40-year-old woman, you have amazing characteristics that were not present in your earlier years, and couldn’t have been because you earned them. It is these very characteristics that are the essence of who you are, and will help you stand out to find the love you deserve. Here’s how to embrace dating at 40 and beyond. 

Display Your Confidence 

You might not be immune to worry or anxiety, but you’re a lot more comfortable in your skin than when you were younger. You’re certain of your likes and dislikes – whether that’s your choice of food, travel, and entertainment. Chances are you’re also happy and secure with your job, and/or passions, which makes you feel even more secure with who you are. 

Here’s the thing: confidence is sexy. Don’t shrink yourself based on what you think potential dates want to hear or see from you. Speak passionately about your interests, as well as everything you’ve accomplished thus far. Include them in your online dating profile, and describe them specifically. Potential matches will get a better sense of who you are – and be attracted by the real you. 

Own Your Badass Appearance 

No, you don’t have the fast metabolism that you did when you were in your 20s, and your wrinkles have started to set in more than when you were in your 30s. But as 40something celebs like Kate Hudson and Kortney Kardashian prove, you’re still hot as ever.

And what’s better with being 40? You accept yourself and respect your body more than ever before. This can mean wearing sensual clothing that makes you feel sexy and attractive, exercising regularly and eating nutritious foods. Or treating yourself to spa appointments and meditating. Whatever feeling good means to you!

Include the photos that reflect your best self in your online profile. Don’t be shy! You’re more beautiful than ever.  

Explore Your Purpose

As a 40-year-old, you might be focused more on family and career than dating or anything else. While striking a balance with life’s tasks is difficult, taking the time to explore new passions and interests, whether that’s running a marathon, taking a yoga class, or joining a writing group, is important. Not only is it essential to your self-care, but when a woman is passionate about her life, she’s magnetic. 

When you strive to improve yourself and the world around you, you immediately stand out. Not to mention, you could meet a new cutie while in a yoga pose, trial run or art class! Just put yourself out there, and see what comes back.  

See Dating As Fun

A number of women who are 40 and over become jaded about dating. Some say they’re tired of chasing love or playing games. When you feel anxious, frustrated or even resentful about dating that comes across as negative energy. To attract others and simply enjoy the process, try shifting your perspective to see dating as something fun. 

You don’t need someone, but you want someone. So have fun with that desire. Flirt, laugh, enjoy meeting new people and being wined and dined. Even if it doesn’t work out, you’re allowed to have a connection with someone else and let your hair down. This is what makes life and love interesting. 

Dating at 40 is different, but that isn’t a bad thing. When you embrace all that you are and all that you have experienced and accomplished in the last four decades, that’s when you stand out from the crowd and realize you deserve nothing but the best from love. As a 40-year-old woman, you have the wisdom and life lessons, confidence and class, to know what you want and go after it! 

Brianne Hogan

Freelance Writer

Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who’s been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a “do what I say, not do what I do” approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren’t looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that’s her motto). Her byline’s been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.