Some people tend to view being single over 40 as a negative thing—there are the common stereotypes of the old maid, the spinster, the weirdo cat lady, or the loner old man. Back in the day, people were ashamed to say they were single after a certain age. And because all their friends were married and busy with families, it left the singles feeling lonely and inadequate. However, due to changing social dynamics around dating, marriage, and divorce it’s now much more common to be dating in your 40s.
As a result, there’s also a new sense of comradery and unity amongst single people over 40 and a lot more opportunity to meet other great people your age.
Wondering why dating in your 40s is better than ever? I made a quick list of what’s great about dating in your 40s.
You have more options to meet people.
Today, there are much more opportunities for dating than there used to be. There are so many different ways to meet people, whether via social media, social gatherings, bars and restaurants dedicated to singles nights or match-makers, clubs and hobbies, introductions from friends and family, and more. Even though most singles participate in these events to meet the one, they’re also good opportunities to meet interesting people and increase your circle of single friends.
You’ve experienced more of what life has to offer.
Unlike those people who married young and didn’t get to sew their wild oats by dating frequently, meeting many different types of people, and traveling; those who are in their 40s and older have experienced more of life. As a result of natural trial and error, they’ve learned who they are, what they want, and what they need. They’ve become more comfortable in their own skin and there’s very little looking back saying, “I wish I got a chance to do that,” because they did it.
You have a better perspective on what a partner can do for you.
Being over 40 and single forces people to be more independent and rely more on themselves for both their happiness and security. This maturity gives them a sense of security and freedom from dependence on others. And, in turn, allows them to look for criteria in a date that will enhance their life, rather than seeking someone to be their whole life.
You’re financially independent.
Most singles 40 and over are somewhat financially secure, having established careers by this point in their lives. Whether they own their own place or rent, they feel that they don’t have to look for someone to provide shelter and financial stability. Knowing they can provide for themselves is an amazing feeling and accomplishment, and gives them the freedom from finding someone solely for monetary reasons.
You still look great. (And so do your dates!)
They say that 40 is the new 20, and I have to say I know both men and women who are 40+ and look amazing. It’s true that in today’s society people are very self-conscious about their looks and therefore tend to take very good care of themselves. Whether it’s nutrition, fitness, or plastic surgery and fillers, people want to look younger. Being on the dating scene enforces the need to take care of yourself so you remain attractive to others.
Being more mature, knowing who you are and what you want, being financially secure and looking your best—these are just some of the reasons dating over the age of 40 can be a positive and fun time in your life. Take advantage of all the different things offered today and enjoy yourself and this time as you find your greatest love.
To read more of Tonia’s work and learn about her upcoming memoir, visit toniadecosimo.com or follower her on Twitter at @ToniaDeCosimo.