A single mom is a woman first, so it’s good practice to bring your best self to whatever date you go on with her. Be a gentleman. Be confident. Be kind. Be attentive. If you like her, tell her. If you’re not interested, tell her.
But there are some more things you should consider. Here are a few things you shouldn’t assume about singles moms:
Don’t assume her time is her own.
Your time is precious. You might have your own kids, so you may understand the complicated juggling act that a single mom goes through when working a full time job and handling her kids’ schedules and extracurricular activities. Or you may not have kids yourself, but a time-consuming job instead. Or maybe you have a job that gives you much loved leisure time. Whether you understand what a single mom goes through on a daily basis or not, know that she deserves someone who’s going to value her time.
Single moms juggle a lot. On top of what was listed above, they may need to get a babysitter to go out and have extra time to prepare. If you know she’s looking for something serious and you’re looking for a hook-up, don’t waste her time by not making your intentions clear upfront. She’ll appreciate your honesty and be glad to know so she can move on.
And if you make plans with her, make sure to stick to them. Things may come up, but since she’s probably juggling more than you to make sure she’s able to go on a date in the first place, it’s good practice that you don’t flake on her.
Don’t assume that she’s looking for someone to support her and her kids.
Just because a single mom is dating, you can’t assume that she’s out there just scoping for a breadwinner. Plenty of single moms support their children on their own or with the help of relatives or their children’s father, so don’t expect or assume that they’re looking to give up their financial independence anytime soon. Many have worked hard to gain and maintain a life for themselves and their children. They may be more likely to look for a partner than someone to depend on.
Don’t assume that she’s looking for her kids’ next dad.
You won’t know at first how active your date’s children’s father is in their lives. Even if he isn’t in the picture, your date may have spent years as her kids’ mom and dad, and could be very comfortable in that role. For many single moms, you might just be her fun boyfriend/husband, and not someone she wants involved with her kids.
If her kids are young and/or never knew their father, she may be actively looking for someone to fulfill that role. That’s something you can suss out early and decide if it’s something you’re interested in for yourself. Being honest with yourself and how you feel about her and what a relationship with children would mean for your life are important things you’ll need to consider.
Don’t assume she doesn’t want any more kids.
Maybe you’ve always wanted kids and are quick to rule out single moms.Even though single moms already have children, that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t love to have and raise another child with their new partner (aka you). If it’s something you’re interested in, it’s something to clear up with them upfront.
Don’t assume she’ll have similar boundaries as you..
Many single moms have boundaries around their time and details about their children. It’s completely normal for her to be unavailable during certain times or unwilling to discuss certain topics about her children and her past relationship. Many moms wait a specified amount of dates/months, etc. before introducing someone new to their children.
Honor whatever boundaries she sets, and even if you feel serious and committed to her, don’t push her to change her boundaries until she’s ready to, especially when it comes to her children. You may be ready to meet them, but there may be issues you aren’t aware of quite yet.
Despite the complexities that come with their situation, , single moms are already capable of a lot of love. They’re often incredibly strong, vibrant, interesting, and sexy women. Treat and care for them as a woman first, and consider these tips.