Should I Ask Her Out? How to Know She’s Waiting for You

A girl smiling and waiting for a guy to figure out "should I ask her out?"

Women, like all people, can be hard to read. Take their smile, for instance. The difference between a smile that says, “Please go away,” and one the says, “I think you’re cute,” can be pretty small. And if you’re not well-versed in reading the signs, it can be hard to know where you stand. If you’re interested in a woman and think you’re getting the come hither vibe from her, there are some giveaways that make it a bit easier.

Here are some indicators that a women’s waiting for you to ask her out: 

She’s eye-flirting with you.
A woman’s eyes tell all. Direct and longing, the eyes are a dead giveaway. Even if she’s mastered a good poker face, she can’t hide behind her eyes. So if you can’t tell how she feels, don’t focus on her facial expressions, make eye contact.

Here are two specific types of eye flirting to look out for:

Shy eye contact.
For shy girls, the eye contact may be slightly different. She’ll still have that soft, longing look, but it’ll be mixed with some awkwardness. Maybe she’ll glance at you and you’ll feel that spark, but then she’ll get uncomfortable and look away. With this type of girl, you’ve got to take the lead, so be confident about asking her out.

Bold eye contact.
The second type of eye flirting is the most obvious one. She’s the sassy type of girl who’s not afraid to give you that come-hither stare. In this case, you’ll notice prolonged eye contact. Take this opportunity to hold her gaze and show you’re interested too. It’s the most natural approach for you both, creating that exciting spark moment.

If the signal is this clear, don’t chicken out! She wants to date you. 

She’s acting laughs or flirts a lot.
When a girl acts flirty around you, she’s attracted—simple enough. This type of flirting can be easy to miss though. A slight, high-pitched giggle or moments of fiddling with her hair can suggest vulnerability and desire. You might also notice a smirk or semi-smile where she presses her lips together, showing that she feels chemistry.  Look for these tiny gestures; they show she wants to feel womanly around you.

Bigger hints come across a lot more flirty. If she’s shy, she’ll do it more nervously like fluttering her hands around when she talks or acting cute and embarrassed. Bolder women, on the other hand, will ruffle their lady feathers much more obviously. She’ll be beaming with a big smile, pushing her shoulders back to flaunt her chest, while throwing around a lot of teehees.

But watch out for forced flirting, like a half smile. It means she’s just being polite, when in reality, she’s uncomfortable and disinterested.

She gets close to you.
Attraction is an invisible magnet. A women who wants you to ask her out will naturally be drawn to you. No matter the environment, she’ll try to minimize the space between you, hoping that you’ll sense her inviting vibe.

Notice what excuses she has to be physically closer to you. She might admire your outfit and ask about your new shirt or seek your help with some random task like opening a lid. If you’re at a lounge, see if she sits near you and glances over at your table. Just don’t blow it by caressing her thigh or something—that gets into creep territory and you’ll kill the mood.

She casually touches you.
Does she find ways to touch you? Touch, even the most subtle form, can show interest. These touches can be playful, like a nudge on the arm, or something more slight, like an extra long hug when she greets you. A more clear sign of flirty touching might be poking at your facial hair or fiddling with your bracelet.

This type of contact is her way of crushing the platonic boundaries. She’s also trying to increase her comfort level with you, secretly learning what pushes your buttons (literally and figuratively). Take notice of her touching style to see if she’s waiting for you to ask her out.

She acts like she’s waiting for you.
Not all girls are experts at being patient. If you haven’t already gotten the hint that she’s interested, she may start showing signs of annoyance. The most common scenario is that she’ll seem upset if you already have plans for the weekend. She was hoping that you would’ve asked her out.

You can tell when she’s annoyed because she’ll suddenly go cold. Or she’ll answer your text with a “k bye!”. If she’s passive aggressive, she’ll start keeping her messages short or may go the sarcastic route, replying with a “k nice”. These behaviors can be confusing, but can be signs that she’s waiting for you to ask her out. 

Women can be puzzles, but they’re not impossible to figure out. Keep an eye out for these signs that confirm she’s waiting for your next move. Just don’t wait too long. Guys who keep the back burner simmering for too long get forgotten.

Rachel Esco

Freelance Writer

Rachel is a lifestyle blogger, based in Toronto, who specializes in dating and relationships. Her articles have been featured in publications, including “Huffington Post”, “Life Hacker” and “Women’s Post”.

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