Why Don’t Girls Like Me? 5 Things You Could Be Doing

A girl laughing as the guy taking the picture wonders, "Why don't girls like me?"

So you struck out again. It’s been a long time (you don’t even want to think how long it’s been) since you’ve met a nice woman who’s liked you back, and now you’re thinking it’s personal. You can’t help but wonder, “Why don’t girls like me?”

Maybe you think you’re not attractive enough. (I’m sure that’s not it). Maybe you think there’s something inherently wrong with you. (I’m sure that’s not it, either). So what is it exactly?

While every situation and every guy is different, here are a few things you could be doing, intentionally or not, that can interfere with your chances of finding love.

Poor Communication 
Women love communicating. Whether it’s casual, like touching base and asking them how their day is going, or it’s more intimate, like expressing how you feel or revealing a deeper side of yourself, they want to hear from you. Yes, it’s true that men and women have different styles of communication but that shouldn’t stop you from trying to give a woman what she needs to the best of your ability. Clear and consistent communication is the key to a relationship from start to finish. If you don’t have it, you’ll never have one leave the ground.

Sexting Way Too Soon  
Want to push a woman away pronto? Start talking about sex right away. Unless a woman is sliding into your DMs because she simply wants a booty call, it’s typically a turn-off when you start sexting right off the bat. And, yes, that includes unsolicited d*ck pics. If you’re looking for a relationship, this is definitely the wrong way to go about it.

Just Skating By 
Are you living your best life, or are you simply skating by? Women are attracted to a man who’s passionate about life. They want someone who loves his job, who has interesting hobbies, and who is constantly looking for ways to grow and expand as a person. Essentially, they want someone with whom they can have an adventure. If you’re someone who tolerates his job, but mostly hates it, and who spends his free time in his underwear playing video games, and has no ambition beyond what he’s going to order on his Friday night pizza, then it’s no wonder most women aren’t too eager to join in.

Not Stepping Up
Dating has definitely changed. Men seldom arrive at a woman’s door with flowers anymore, ghosting is a norm, and we can move onto the next person with a quick swipe on our phones. No wonder there’s little effort being put into dates. But here’s the thing: while women certainly crave, and deserve, equal footing in a relationship, they want to feel desired too. They want to feel like they’re worth being thought of and considered when it comes to dating. They want some good old fashioned chivalry. What does this look like? It looks like planning a date from start to finish. Planning and confirming the date well in advanced (not on the Thursday night when you’re supposed to meet up on Friday), making the necessary reservations for the restaurant and/or show, and telling her how much you’re looking forward to seeing her. Basically, it’s showing some serious follow-through. And showing up with some flowers doesn’t hurt, either.

Not Loving Yourself
Do you like who you are? Having a healthy self-esteem, which includes not only accepting where you’re at in life but also looking to grow as a person, is attractive. If you don’t like yourself, including your past and your current reality, then how can you expect another person to do the same? Love first starts with self-love. Too often people seek to fill the void in their life through another, which, while it might feel good initially, ultimately ends up being a superficial and unfulfilling connection. When you love yourself, you attract love. Real love. So before you start asking, “Why don’t girls like me?” you should ask yourself, “Do I like me?”

For the record: there is a woman out there who will like you, and who will want to date you. Just because some women aren’t interested in you—which they’re entitled to by the way—doesn’t mean you’re undateable. But if you’re striking out more often than not, it doesn’t hurt to look at your life and your habits and see how they might be hurting you rather than helping you. You’ll find that when you start to improve yourself and make small but impactful changes, love will enter your life.

Brianne Hogan

Freelance Writer

Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who’s been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a “do what I say, not do what I do” approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren’t looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that’s her motto). Her byline’s been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.

No Comments Yet

Comments are closed