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Flirty Texts: How to Tap Your Way Into Their Heart

A woman sending flirty texts and laughing.

By now you know texting is officially the new calling. You want to ask someone out, you text her. You want to tell your new crush you’re thinking of him, you type it out and hit send. But just because flirting via text is easy to do, doesn’t mean you’re doing it right. Look at your scorecard: Are you keeping conversations going? Are you getting dates? One way to increase your dating batting average is upping your flirty texts game.

“Texting is the new first step in dating. What and when you write back can easily determine the fate of your relationship,” says Deb Goldstein, co-author with Olivia Baniuszewicz, of Flirtexting. “Therefore putting some real thought into it so that your text, i.e. you, sticks out from the rest is very important.”

Here are some tips on how to mix up your texting techniques to send the perfect flirty texts.

Be Funny

Everyone loves to LOL, and when it comes to dating, research tells us that humor is the most important quality a potential suitor can have. Making a lighthearted joke is a great way to break the ice with a new person and bring a smile to their face. Poke fun at something that the two of you talked about, or turn a phrase they said back on them and get good some good banter going.

Be Unpredictable

There’s nothing worse than dealing with a stale conversation. Stay away from tired questions like, “How is your day going?” In order to stand out from the pack, you want your text messages to be unique. Instead of “What are your plans tonight,” be assertive and spontaneous and try: “So what time should I pick you up tonight?” Or tell your crush, “You’re so creative. Where do you get your inspiration from?”

Use Pictures

Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words (a PG-rated picture, that is). Sending a cute snap is a creative and intimate way of telling someone you’re thinking about them and a great conversation starter. “Pictures are absolutely okay to use as long as they are appropriate and add to the conversation,” says Goldstein. “For example, if you talked about his love of Mexican food in the past, shoot him an image of your order of guacamole that just arrived to show him you paid attention earlier and are thinking about him now.”

Be Sexy

Being sexy with your flirty texts is a fun way of connecting with your new partner. It adds mystery and acts as a slow turn-on before the next time you meet your date in real life. When sending a sexy text, you should balance flirty and fun without being overtly sexual or graphic. Try, “I just came out of the shower. You want to come over and towel me off?” Another one: “I can’t wait to see your underwear tonight.” Warning: before you send a sext, it’s best if the topic of sex has already come up between the two of you, otherwise it could come off as aggressive.

Use Emoticons/Emojis (sparingly)

Flirty text messages can be easily misinterpreted (FYI: your excellent sense of sarcasm doesn’t translate well via text). That’s where the usage of emojis or emoticons come in. Adding a smiley face or a silly sushi emoji can easily transform your text to something more approachable and fun, which will almost guarantee you a response. However, Goldstein cautions using emoticons excessively. “Emoticons are okay to use sparingly. We’ve know many who said the over use of emoticons is a deal breaker, so just be careful.”

When in doubt, Goldstein and Baniuszewicz recommend sending your flirty text to a friend before you officially send it to the intended recipient. Another tip? “Wait two to three hours before sending text to make sure nothing more inspired comes to you.”

After all, as the saying goes, words are free; it’s how you use them that may cost you (and that’s not including the long-distance charges).

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