How To Approach Online Dating If You’re Shy: 4 Useful Tips

man standing in kitchen on mobile showing how to approach online dating

Do you feel pressure to break out of your shell or are you a little nervous entering the dating world? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. When you’re shy, it can be tricky to consider how to approach online dating. But the truth is, there’s nothing wrong with being shy. Your personality is your own, why change it because of other people!

In today’s digital age, where more and more people are meeting their match online, online dating actually seems to have swung in a direction that’s beneficial to shy folks. Nowadays online dating can be a shy dater’s best friend. And here’s why…

Our Practical Tips on How to Approach Online Dating if You’re Shy

How to start off? Take your time

For starters, take a deep breath, and start by creating a dating profile that makes you feel confident. 

No matter what, it can be scary meeting someone new. If the idea of talking to a semi-stranger makes you want to hide, let your match know that you want to take your time and get to know them better before you meet. The best part? You can say all of this over text. Because let’s face it, texting is always a little less intimidating. 

So start by signing up, message your matches and get to know them. Putting yourself out there is the best way to boost your confidence, and by the time you decide to go on a date, we bet they won’t feel like a stranger anymore.

It’s actually pretty low risk out there

We’re often shy because we’re nervous about being ourselves. No one wants to let someone in only to have them run the other way. While the possibility of ghosting may feel daunting, online dating isn’t nearly as tricky as meeting someone face-to-face as gives you the space to get to know each other first. 

With dating apps, you know that you’re not in a committed relationship just yet. So, let them get to know you and even see your silly side! Remember you don’t have to take it too seriously, and in the beginning, you don’t have that much to lose. Getting to know each other online means you can save yourself time by not dating a person who couldn’t handle the amazingness that is the real you.

You have a leg up by being shy

The reality is that most people enjoy talking about themselves. But a great date isn’t a one-sided activity, it’s one where the conversation flows, and that’s where you come in!

Shy people are often less likely to volunteer information about themselves, but this gives you the opportunity to be the one asking questions. While you should certainly try to talk a little about yourself, the fact that you aren’t talking non-stop means your match won’t feel like they’re competing for who gets the most airtime. 

There’s a reason why shy people are labeled as good listeners. Asking just a few questions encourages your match to volunteer more information, putting you out of the hot seat and making your match feel like you’re interested in them. Trust us, it works. 

Remember you can always unmatch

When you’re shy, hard conversations can feel nightmare worthy. What if you don’t feel a good connection and you don’t know how to explain that?

Thankfully, online dating can prevent things from getting to that point. When it comes time to meet someone, you’ve probably spoken to them for a while, and have a good idea of whether or not you’re into them.

Take the pressure off and remember you can always unmatch if you’re not feeling it. If a match really wants to meet you but you’re not on the same page, be polite and tell them before doing so. 

So whether you’re just beginning your online dating journey or are about to go out on your first date, these practical tips can help you make a great first impression. Don’t feel guilty for a fizzled connection or a conversation that goes nowhere, how to approach online dating is totally up to you!

So go ahead, put yourself out there and be you. There’re countless singles online ready to match and meet the real you.

Jacqueline Gualtieri

Freelance Writer

Jacqueline Gualtieri is a writer and blogger whose best friend once told her to quit her job and become a couples and sex therapist. Since she’d miss writing too much, she figured writing for The Date Mix would be the next best thing.

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