8 Things That Change When You’re Dating Over 60

A couple dating over 60 smiling at each other while hugging in a garden.

Dating isn’t just for the twenty and thirty somethings out there y’know.  Attitudes about marriage and divorce have changed a lot in recent years, and as a result more people find themselves single later in life. And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If you go into it with the right mindset, dating over 60 can be an incredibly fun, exciting, and life changing experience. 

But like so many things, the things change when you get older. Here are a few things that happen when you start dating over 60. 

Online dating dominates the scene.
You’ve probably heard this a hundred times at this point, but that’s because it’s true. The majority of singles turn to dating apps and dating sites as the go-to method to meet other people.

There isn’t a stigma when it comes to finding someone online anymore, and there only ever was because it was such an alien concept. In addition, there are many senior dating sites dedicated solely to older dating groups in their 50s and 60s and beyond.

If you still haven’t tried online dating yet, what have you got to lose by giving it a go?

Age doesn’t matter anymore.
When you’re younger, age is a big deal. In fact, it’s one of the most important filters on many dating sites.

But after a certain age, it’s not as important. There are way more pressing things like a person’s character, how healthy they are, and if they share similar values as you do.

But when you get to your 50s, you realize this, and become more flexible in your approach. The older we get, the more insignificant that number becomes.  

It’s more about companionship than marriage.
Love and marriage tend to be the ultimate goal for 95% of young people who are dating. And this might still be true for you, but it’s not for everyone.

Many people dating in their 60s and beyond are looking for companionship more than anything else. They want someone to have dinner with, go to the movies with, have fun with, and someone to travel with them. Being attracted to someone, flirting, and romance are important too; but it doesn’t need to be more than this. For many people, this is enough.

You have the benefit of life experience.
You might think that your age is a disadvantage when it comes to returning to the dating game, but you’d be totally wrong! With age, comes a heap of wisdom that you didn’t have when you were younger—because you simply hadn’t lived long enough or experienced enough to know what you do now.

You’re mature, you have confidence, and you have a broad knowledge on a variety of subjects. You’re stronger, more interesting, and a more defined version of the person you were decades ago. Let that fill you with the belief that you’ve got this.

Your needs and desires have evolved.
Remember that check list you used to have describing all the must-have qualities you were looking for in a partner? If you still remember it (or have it on paper), you’ll probably notice how your needs and desires have changed dramatically since then.

So take some time to reassess what’s important to you now. List out your relationship goals, because when you do, you make it easier to follow them.

People don’t play games anymore.
When I say people, I mostly mean men, because they play far more games than women do. Men have no desire to chase women once they hit this stage in their life. Hallelujah.

That doesn’t mean that women have to do all the work or necessarily take the lead, but what it does mean is that you can cut out all that keeping it cool stuff that you did when you were younger.

If you’re interested in someone, you can be totally open and honest about it—even on date number one. And men love that.

Many couples begin as friends.
Whether you try the online dating thing or not, most older couples start off as friends. The best way to form these friendships is by being open to meeting to and talking to new people. Pick up new hobbies, travel somewhere, and chat with strangers when you’re sipping on a coffee in your local cafe.

The pressure to be romantically involved with anyone has gone—which leaves you to spend your time doing whatever lights you up and brings you the most joy. And when you do that, you’ll reflect your best self to the world, which will help you attract someone special.

You probably won’t be someone’s number one priority.
When you’re dating in your 60s, most people usually come with a lifetime of baggage—and that’s to be expected, right?

People often have children, grandchildren, parents with ill-health, or they might even be in the middle of a painful divorce. It’s important to be aware of this before you begin dating, and accept someone for their current situation without judgement.

Dating in your 60s can be incredibly rewarding. Your free from a lot of the mistakes of your past, have a better sense of who you are, and can enjoy meeting people in a variety of ways. But it is different from the dating scene you once knew. So stop playing games and open up your mind to a different approach. You may enjoy yourself more than you think.

Shani Jay

Bestselling Author and Empowerment Coach

Shani is a bestselling author, empowerment coach for women, and self-love advocate. She is the author of Bloom, The Babe Bible, Glow Getter, and Light Up Your Life; and her writing has been featured on many internationally recognized platforms including The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, and Teen Vogue.

​In 2016 Shani founded The Glow Getter Tribe – a self-love & kindness movement which helps young girls & women worldwide feel happy, confident and beautiful starting from the inside, out.

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