In dating, we hear a lot about red flags, but not enough about green flags. That’s why I’ve put together a list of 10 green flags that will let you know you found a catch.
In my Conscious Dating Programs, I’ve coached many singles to find lasting love, and the most common problem I see is most people don’t know what the perfect person looks like.
Many people haven’t been in a good relationship. It’s tough to look for something you haven’t seen before. That’s where this list comes in. If you’ve catch these flags, keep an extra close eye on your date—they might be the one.
They Actively Listen
Like, really listen. They want to hear what you have to say, even when the conversations are tough. They listen extra closely when you’re distressed, because what matters to you matters to them.
They Know How to Share
They listen but they communicate well, too. They express their feelings and communicate their clearly. You’re able to have difficult conversations with them—money, insecurities, you name it. It’s not easy to keep a cool head in tough conversations. Give them points for this one.
They Keep Their Word
Their words and actions match. If they make a commitment to something, they follow through. It’s okay if not everything’s perfect, if you can count on them to try their best every time.
They’re Sensitive To Your Needs
Everybody has triggers and sensitivities. A good partner is aware of yours and will tailor their behavior to accommodate them. It’s not about convenience. It’s about compassion.
They Support Your Growth
Relationships are serious business. You signed up for a union, possibly forever. But the growth doesn’t stop when you say yes. Both of you will grow as time passes. It’s important for your partner to love you as your are now, but also for them to keep loving you for the person you’ll become. It’s hard to say you’ll love someone when you don’t know who they’ll be, but that’s what commitment is. If they’re in it for the long haul, this is a tell.
They Take Conflict Head-On
They don’t avoid conflict. Fights are a healthy part of a relationship, if they’re handled with respect. How a couple navigates conflict says a lot about the strength of the relationship. If your partner is able to discuss an upset respectfully and immediately when it arises, it’s a great sign.
Apologies are a major part of conflict resolution. I mean deep, sincere apology. It’s important to be able to admit when your wrong or more importantly when you’ve hurt someone. If your partner is able to let go of their pride and acknowledge fault, it’s a big deal.
They Respect Boundaries
Just like it says, they respect your boundaries. You need friend time? Great. Alone time? Perfect. A good partner will know that when you draw a line in the sand, they should respect it. With any luck, they’ll set their owns. Rules like this reinforce strong communication in the relationship.
This is really important, because no partners see eye to eye on everything. Healthy relationships are not the ones that have the most in common, but the ones most willing to meet in the middle.
You’re a Team
Whether adventuring or building a family, you have to work together in life. Partnership needs to be equitable. This means you share of the emotional and physical labor required to meet the needs of your relationship and shared dreams. Relationships are all about balance.
I could probably add another ten but that’s it for today. For those of you that are struggling to make sense of love, I want you to know that you are not alone. Recognizing green flags aka “non-negotiables” is one of the hardest things for people to understand which is why I cover this in my workshops that you can find information on down below. But while each of us has our own unique green flags that we seek in a relationship, these 10 are key qualities that I feel are essential for a healthy partnership.
Did I miss any of your green flags? Feel free to reach out to me at www.amiethedatingcoach.com and share your thoughts.