Have a special someone you’re trying to get the attention of but you’re not sure how to go about it? Dating and relationship expert Mat Boggs, did a little research into the science of attraction and found five easy things you can do to make yourself more attractive to someone.
Transcript:
Hey there, my name is Mat Boggs. I’m a best-selling author and creator of Cracking The Man Code. I help women empower themselves in their love lives and help them manifest their man. And my team and I were asking the question, is it possible to increase your attractiveness with someone that you desire? And so, we wanted to find out what the scientific world had to say about this. And so, in this video, we have put together five scientifically proven ways to increase your attractiveness.
1. Laugh.
Number one is laughter. Now, the Journal of Evolution and Human Behavior published an article and a study where they actually found out that men were attracted to women who were receptive to their humor. In other words, women who laughed at their jokes. Now, at first glance, I know what this might sound like. It’s like, okay, if a woman strokes a man’s ego, then he likes her more. But it’s a little bit deeper than that at times too because, men, we have a deep desire to have our thoughts respected. And so, when you’re in a conversation with someone, and a man puts out a joke or something he thinks is funny, and you receive that and you laugh, now you’re connecting on a deeper level.
Now, what is it that causes us to laugh? We each have a laugh threshold, right? Which is our mood. And the higher our laugh threshold or the more stressed out we are, the harder it is to actually laugh. Well, we can lower the laugh threshold by putting ourselves in a positive state, putting ourselves in a good mood. And you’ve been in moods like this, where you just are hanging out with your friends and you’re positive and you’re laughing and having a great time—it’s silly dumb stuff. Well, you can actually increase the level of attractiveness other people have for you by putting yourself in a low laugh threshold state where you’re laughing more easily, having a great time, and connecting with the person that you’re interested in.
2. Smile.
Secret number two is smiling versus not smiling. There was a research study done in The Journal of Neuropsychology, where they found out that when someone sees a smiling face, it activates an area in their orbital frontal cortex that stimulates you to receive a reward. The other key to this is that there’s actually 43 muscles in the face. And when you smile, your body releases the neuropeptides—dopamine, serotonin, and a whole mixture of feel-good chemicals—where you actually feel better. Your whole body lightens up and you put yourself in a better mood. And what’s fascinating is that when you smile, usually the person that you’re with smiles back at you. And so, when they get that rush of neuropeptides and these feel-good chemicals, and they start to feel better, they associate that good feeling with you. So notice, if you want to boost your attractiveness with someone else, relax, smile, you will bring a reward to them and feel-good chemicals to you both.
3. Be honest.
Secret number three is honesty. And I found this one to be really interesting. The Journal of Research in Personality did a study where they showed men these photos of women, and they attached these photos of women with different personality traits. And they had them rank their degree of attractiveness. And the one quality that stood out among all the other qualities, especially for men who wanted a long-term relationship, was honesty.
So how do you actually demonstrate honesty on a date? One degree is just be honest because we all have an intuition and we can sense when someone is aligned versus when they’re not aligned. But, the other way that you can demonstrate honesty is when you communicate your standards and boundaries. When you communicate what you want, even if you don’t know if the other person wants the same thing (which can be scary)—if you want a relationship, if you want to start a family, if you want something serious. A lot of women think, I can’t say that on the first date. I’ll scare the guy away. And I want to challenge that assumption. I want to challenge you to communicate that on the first date, even if he doesn’t want it. Why? Because when you communicate what you want, irrespective of knowing what he wants, it shows not just honesty, but confidence. And there’s something subconscious that’s communicated when you’re confident—there’s another attraction trigger that’s actually ignited.
So, imagine a woman demonstrating her confidence by communicating her standards (what she wants in a relationship), and she has choices (a whole bunch of other guys around her interested in her). If she’s confident and we think, Wow, she’s got a lot of choices, these other men desire her.Our desire for her increases because of what’s called social proof (if other guys desire her, our own desire goes up).
So, be honest on your dates, be authentic, and feel free to communicate exactly what you want because that confidence and that honesty is going to translate to attraction.
4. Wear red.
The fourth attraction trigger is color, specifically the color red. When you were red, studies show that men find you more attractive. The American Psychological Association did a study where they found that men found women who wore red more sexually attractive and having higher desirability. Although, it didn’t affect the men’s perception of these women in terms of likeability and intelligence or friendliness. All of those stay the same, but specifically sexual attraction and desirability increased when a woman was wearing red. What’s fascinating about this too is this actually connects to back when you and I were babies. When we were born, our eyes were developing and we didn’t actually have the ability to see color right away. And then around three weeks, our eyes develop the ability to see color, and the first primary color that we learn how to see is the color red. Now, I find that if red’s not your color, don’t sweat it. There’s lots of other attraction triggers that you can use, but it’s just fascinating how powerful colors can be in generating attractiveness.
5. Mirror body language.
Secret number five is called mirroring and matching. There was a study done in The Journal of i-Perception where men literally found women more attractive that mirror the same body positions as they were holding. And, this makes sense because as human beings we tend to like people who are like us. So, one way that you can build rapport with your man is to mirror his body position. Right? Now, it goes beyond body position—you can do facial expressions and tonality—there’s a whole science behind mirroring and matching, and building rapport. But just very simply, you know, if you’re on a date with him, and he’s telling you a story and he leans in, then you lean in. Or if he sits back and puts his hand on his face, you lean back and you bring your hand to your face. Or if it gets really excited and he’s telling you a story, you respond to him and you get excited. I can tell you, I’ve been on a date where I’m all excited and I’m telling someone this story, and the woman’s face was literally like this. Like I didn’t even know if she was listening to me or what. She was so deep in her mind, listening, there was no expression happening here. It was this complete disconnect. And so, that connection is going to increase attractiveness, and when you’re able to mirror him, it’s going to help him feel more connected with you.
So, there you have it—5 scientific ways to increase your attractiveness with men. And my question for you is this, “What do you guys do that you find yourself attracted to?” Go ahead and post a comment in the comment section below.
