You’ve started dating someone new, and you really like her. Now, you just want to ensure she’s the one for you. Make the right call by looking out for these 10 dating red flags:
1. She only talks about herself.
The initial stages of dating are about getting to know each other. She should be excited to find out who you are and what your life is like. If she doesn’t show genuine interest in you, find someone who does.
2. She often talks about previous relationships or other men.
Unless you’re in an exclusive relationship, she has the right to see other people. But, she shouldn’t be pining over a former boyfriend or telling you about guys she’s currently dating. That means she’s still hung up on someone or is trying to make you jealous.
3. She exhibits control or jealousy issues.
She shouldn’t guilt you about seeing your friends–or check up on you when you’re doing so. It’s not fair for her to act cold, upset, or lash out if you’ve made plans with other people. You’re a person, not a possession.
4. She needs constant reassurance.
Does she keep asking if you actually like her, want to see her, and are having fun with her? We all want that reinforcement sometimes, but if she’s endlessly seeking your approval, she might have some self-esteem issues.
5. She puts you down.
A quality woman is encouraging and supportive. She wants you to pursue your passions and invest in your hobbies. She shouldn’t make fun of you or your interests.
6. She isn’t happy without you.
It’s a bad sign when a woman says she had nothing before you came along. If you’re hearing this, she needs to work through her problems before having a healthy relationship with you.
7. She doesn’t have her own interests.
If shes doesn’t have her own interests, you may become responsible for her happiness. This isn’t fair to you. Your relationship should be a partnership, not a co-dependent situation.
8. She has dramatic mood swings.
Unless something tragic has happened, she shouldn’t be happy one minute and hysterical the next. Hormones cause some fluctuation, but daily emotional instability is a serious issue.
9. She talks about everyone behind their back.
Sometimes we make judgments about others, especially when bonding with new people, but a woman who repeatedly gossips about everyone is insecure.
10. She tries to change you.
A good partner wants their significant other to grow. She should be an advocate for positive improvements such as working on your communications skills, upgrading your wardrobe, or getting rid of bad habits like biting your nails. She shouldn’t aim to change your hobbies, values, or friends to fit her ideals.
Nick is a professional dating coach in Boston. He helps his clients be more social and confident to create healthy, powerful romantic connections. You can connect with Nick and read his advice on The Dating Specialist.