Do Girls Like Shy Guys? Well, It’s Complicated

We’ve all heard it. Girls like bad boys. The strong, silent type. The brooders. Everywhere you go, people have different ideas about what women want, but one thing’s consistent—confidence.

But where does that leave the shy guys?

Shyness and Modern Dating
Modern dating tells us that attraction is complicated. Sure, confidence is attractive on paper but how people perceive confidence is personal.

Do women like shy guys? Simply put, some do and some don’t. People often think shyness means insecurity. According to these dated rules, shy guys are out of luck, of course, attraction and confidence are more nuanced than that, but generally people are attracted to confidence. So how can shy guys become more confident?

Confidence comes from self-awareness. Confident people are more assertive, self-assured manner, but confidence doesn’t necessarily mean extraversion, which is where people often get confused. A quiet person can be confident and may come off as shy, even if they’re not. 

It’s also worth remembering that attraction often comes from personal preferences. These are shaped by your own emotions, temperament, and what you relate to in a partner. 

Authenticity and Dating
You don’t need to overcome your shyness to date, but working on it can help. You don’t have to be loud but you do need to be comfortable enough in your own skin to share yourself—your real self—with the girl you like.

Don’t ever pretend to be something you’re not. A relationship built on a front won’t last.

Own up to your shyness. It’s okay to tell a potential date that you’re shy or nervous. People appreciate honesty. They’ll probably think it’s very confident that you’re being so real with them.

Some girls love a shy guy and others don’t. And that’s okay. Own who you are. Confidence isn’t built in a day, but it starts with liking who you are—who you really are.

Jacqueline Gualtieri

Freelance Writer

Jacqueline Gualtieri is a writer and blogger whose best friend once told her to quit her job and become a couples and sex therapist. Since she’d miss writing too much, she figured writing for The Date Mix would be the next best thing.

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