Even though it’s always nice to have a little bit of personal space, missing your girlfriend when she’s not around just means she’s special. It shows that both of you have formed a tight bond and that personal experiences would just be more fun and memorable if she was beside you.
But, there’s often a line. At the beginning of the relationship, the feelings of sadness over her being away make a lot of sense. Things are still new, and you’re still exploring your relationship together. If it gets to a point where you don’t want to do anything without her, or start texting her every minute asking how she’s doing, you’ll be doing a lot of damage and your relationship may end up being short-lived.
There are a lot of healthy ways to let your girlfriend know you miss her and connect, especially if the two of you happen to be long distance. Here are good ways to channel your energy into a way that’ll benefit the relationship.
Send her a text.
It seems obvious, but it’s a nice way for her to know she’s on your mind. Again, just make sure not to bombard her. It’s important not to get too paranoid if she doesn’t answer back immediately—even though we’re all pretty much glued to our phones these days, there are plenty of instances where it’s not the right time to respond. A simple “can’t wait to see you again” will work perfectly as your opener.
Start researching fun places to go together.
Start planning the ultimate day for the next time you two meet up. If she likes animals, an aquarium or even a zoo might make for a memorable date. Or, if she told you she’d love to check out that popular new Italian place a few blocks away, make sure to book a reservation in advance. This is a productive way to keep thinking about your girlfriend while working to improve your relationship even more. Good memories and memorable date nights will make your connection thrive.
Make her the ultimate mixed CD or playlist.
First, make sure she has access to a CD player since they’re slowly becoming a rarity. If not, an online playlist will do. Make the mix something special—not just romantic songs that remind you of her, but songs you think she’d actually like. This is a subtle and sweet way to share something creative with her. As a bonus, since she’s already on your mind, it’s an inventive way to channel your emotions and perhaps discover a few new bands along the way.
Go out and do something solo.
If you’re at a point where you feel like you can’t have a productive day without her, you need to reclaim your own life before things get out of hand. The key to a successful relationship is to complement each other and make one another’s lives better. But, she can’t be your entire life—and the relationship will crash and burn if that’s the role you’ve assigned to her. So, go out and do something you’ve always wanted to do. If it’s a nice day, take a run around the neighborhood. Or maybe start researching a hobby you were curious about before you and your girlfriend officially got together.
Write it out.
Journaling is the best way to get out emotions in your head. If you miss her more than normal, maybe there’s something else going on that you don’t realize. Perhaps you’re starting a new job in a different town, and feel a bit needy because she’s a familiar face among a sea of strangers. Or, maybe you’re just going through a period of depression, and not having her right next to you makes it feel even more like your life is collapsing. Writing it all down is a good way for you to feel better without making her feel unnecessarily guilty for being away.
If you’re long distance…
Set a schedule for a weekly video call.
FaceTiming someone is a great way to stay connected, and it’s much more interactive than a standard phone call. If she’s away for a long time, schedule a weekly (or daily) time to chat on the phone. That way, you know you’re guaranteed to see them at a certain time, and it may ease the sad emotions. Consider keeping a list of things you want to chat about during the day, just so you don’t forget before the call happens.
Or you could even set up virtual dates.
Start up an account on Rabbit and watch a movie together. It’s not the same as cuddling on the couch, but it’s a great way to stay connected even if you’re not in the same place at the same time. If you happen to be tight on money, it’s also one of the cheapest dates you can have.
Just remember, it’s okay to miss your girlfriend. If the two of you are often tied together in your social life, it can be hard to remember how to be solo again. But, it’s also important to distinguish a life outside of her filled with your own interests and friends. When you have positive things to occupy the time you’re apart, you’ll be a lot less lonely.