Feeling very single? The good news is, you’re not the only one who feels that way right now. Unfortunately, it’s easy to get down on yourself when you haven’t found many romantic successes lately, but it’s important to remember that you’re not defined by solely your romantic wins and losses.
You’re a whole person, with so many good qualities and talents at hand. Having been single for a while doesn’t reflect on what a catch you are, even if it’s hard to believe that sometimes. If you’re trying to stay confident while feeling painfully single, here’s a few suggestions to help you on your way.
Practical Pointers On How To Be More Confident In Yourself
Surround yourself with solid friendships
Romantic relationships often end; your friendships can outlast that turbulence. Being single doesn’t mean you need to live without daily connection to other humans. Your friendships can, and should be, the thing you lean on during times you’re dealing with low self-esteem or confidence issues. These are the people you can trust and confide in.
They’re also your built-in hypeman team: your friends are automatically onboard Team You, and they’re great resources to turn to when you need a pep talk or a commiserating ear.
Sometimes you need someone to remind you of your accomplishments, and that’s what friends are for. The wins you’ve had in other areas of your life might be more easily forgotten when you’re feeling unlucky in love, and if you need someone to remind you that you’re great at lots of other things, your friends will have your back.
Remember to take time for yourself
If you’re exhausted of the dating field, it’s okay to take a step back for a bit. Use this time as an opportunity to check in with yourself, asking what it is that you need. Not having a romantic relationship on the backburner can clear out some of the noise in your head, and now’s your chance to tap into that silence and figure out what it is you’ve been neglecting.
It’s never a bad idea to try therapy in order to facilitate that process. Whatever form it takes, listening to yourself and pursuing what you need to feel fulfilled on your own is important. Being aware of giving yourself time and space when you need it, is a healthy step toward how to be more confident in yourself!
Invest in what makes you happy
What are the things that give you joy? Maybe it’s singing in a community choir, or volunteering locally, or playing video games with your friends who live in different cities far away. Whatever floats your boat, now’s the perfect time to indulge and invest yourself in the things that make you happy. Your happiness is key to your level of confidence. One way how to be more confident in yourself is to just do the things that make you feel good!
If you’ve previously found yourself adapting to other people’s interests, maybe now’s the time for you to try things you’re interested in, to find out what it is that you like.
You can try things you’ve always wanted to but never had the time for. Here’s some free ideas: pottery, yoga, downloading a bird ID app to help you identify the birds in your backyard, taking up knitting, or tending to a sourdough starter. Do anything you can enjoy and lean into the confidence it brings.
Don’t be afraid to reach out
You’re not the only person who’s ever felt this way. You might be surprised at which of your friends can relate to this exact feeling, either in their past or present. It might not fix the problem, but talking about it with friendly faces can help ease the burden of going through loneliness.
Being able to feel supported and cared for during this time will help you naturally feel more confident in your own worth. Vulnerability is tough to do, and it’s tempting to retreat into not sharing our true feelings in the moment. Try for a little more vulnerability than you’re used to, as a start to sharing more.
Fake it til you make it
Faking it til you’re making yourself believe it might sound too good to be true, but it’s real! There’s actually scientific evidence that suggests faking it to be a good confidence-booster.
It’s called “status-enhancement theory,” and it means that acting confident can get others to perceive you as more confident. This is a built-in feedback loop that works out in your favor. Just claiming the stance of a confident belief in yourself, even if you don’t feel it, can help boost your self-confidence.
