No matter what you’re looking for, if you’ve been single in the last five years, you’ve probably found yourself on Tinder. While the app has made many lasting connections, it hasn’t quite shaken its reputation for hookups.
The topic is contentious, causing many a ghosting or heated discussion. Talking sex with a stranger is asking for trouble. Often, men come on way too strong and creeping out matches that already expressed interest.
If someone promising suddenly ghosted, it’s time to audit your Tinder game. Here are 10 Tinder tips that guys absolutely need to hear to make things better for everyone.
1. Interest Before Looks
Tinder bios are short. Very short. The app is designed to focus on photos. Girls hear how how they are all the time. Talk about who they are, not who they were luckily born to be. It proves your paying attention and will set you apart from 90% of guys right away.
2. Wait On Exchanging Numbers
It’s totally okay to exchange numbers, but wait till there’s a connection. Get to know your match first, at least a little bit.
It’s much harder to cut out someone who has your phone number than someone you’ve matched with on Tinder. Swapping numbers signals a certain seriousness to the relationship. Be more discerning.
3. Know Competition Is Fierce
There are far more women on Tinder than men, and the women are more selective. According to Zirby, a whopping 91% of women said they wouldn’t like a profile if they didn’t feel some sort of attraction right off the bat. Men are more likely to try their luck with a wider selection of women. So, it’s hard for all guys—you shouldn’t take a lack of matches as a sign that you should give up.
4. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
A good sense of humor is a very attractive quality. If you can make her laugh, you’re already winning. Try to keep things light-hearted at the beginning. Everyone has enough to think about. Last thing they need is an arrogant Tinder match lecturing them about the current state of national politics.
5. Proofread Your Messages
Don’t trust your phone to do it for you. You’ll avoid extra mistakes, and it shows a little extra care. Proper grammar will lead to a good first impression, while mistakes might make her think that you’re a little sloppy.
6. Keep Photos PG
I don’t know how else to say this: stop with the unsolicited nudes. If they didn’t for it explicitly, don’t send it. Even if they do, meet them first. You don’t need nude images of yourself floating around the internet. Not to mention, it’s just plain disrespectful.
7. Take a Good Default Photo
Selfies are bad. Don’t do them. Your main profile picture should be a full-body or headshot in a well-lit space. Smile. Let the women of Tinder see those pearly whites. They’re you’re best quality. Trust me.
8. Be Patient
If someone doesn’t respond immediately, don’t double text. Don’t assume they ghosted you, even if they did. If they did, there’s nothing you can do. If they were just busy, you just blew it. People call themselves nice guys all the time, before they blow up and say something obscene.
9. Stay Positive
If you’ve hit a dead end with online dating, take a break. You can always come back. Everybody hits a rut with dating now and again. Don’t bring your negative feelings along with your next date. Sometimes, you just need you time. Focus on yourself. Exercise. Indulge your hobbies. Spend time with friends. When you feel ready to tackle it again, get back on the apps.
10. Break The Ice
Have fun with this. Online dating is an easy way to get to know someone before meeting face-to-face. Try to think up something funny and unique. Don’t use a canned line. People know when you ripped something off the internet.
Good icebreaker questions or jokes show social perceptiveness, which is always a good thing.
Dating can be difficult, but try your hardest to have fun with it. There’s a reason people love to be single. But treat every person you meet like a person. Just because there’s the barrier of the internet doesn’t mean there isn’t somebody on the other side. Nobody is an object, even if you are looking for a hookup.